We're like a lot better than the average bears
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
