You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Randomize
