got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
You ate ashes out of my bong
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