I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Randomize
