she was so not down for the gang bang
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
