Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
