I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
