She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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