So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
