They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
