Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
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