I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
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