i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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