so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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