help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
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