THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
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