ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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