You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Randomize
