You really coming over, don't trick.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
and she was petting her beer can
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
