is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
He kissed a someone with a penis
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
