Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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