please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
