i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Randomize
