you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I want to be your penis for a week.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Randomize
