At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
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