He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
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