the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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