Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Randomize
