I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
He's a Shit stain on my heart
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Do you have feelings for this penis?
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
