Whats the glycemic index on semen?
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
