He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
She's JV to your varsity
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
