im about as happy as oj after his trial
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
