i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize