is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
