He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Randomize
