I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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