Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Randomize
