why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
