Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize