Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
i believe in u and ur pee
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