i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
