oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
and you fell through a lawn chair
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
