you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
