all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
You are a booty call, not a friend.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Dick very happy bro
Randomize
