how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
