the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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