Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I just want to make out with him forever
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
