Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
