so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize