So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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