How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
