You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Randomize
