She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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