my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
