STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
