Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
there is glitter all over my balls
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
