wakey wakey hands off snakey
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
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