Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
He? As in you personified your dick?
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
