don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
