OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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