Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I think i got beer on your cat.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
