I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
