im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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