We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
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