I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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