Porn is love you can see.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize