so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
