Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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