hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
