this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
