what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I booty called her while she was in labor.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
Randomize
