So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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