i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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