three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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